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Hollow Handle
Handling Severe Depression
As long as I live, I'll never forget the feeling of my
mouth wrapped around the cold blue steel of the 6 ½ in.
barrel of my Ruger Blackhawk .357 single action revolver.
I was so close to pulling the trigger. And nobody ever knew.
It seemed like I could turn on the 'manic' phase at will -
and be as friendly and outgoing and talkative as the
situation required. But as soon as I was alone again, I'd
start sinking down, down, down.
Those days are long gone - and I doubt they're ever coming
back. I've found too many tools I can use to feel better.
(Mostly because I learned the value of embracing and
releasing my emotions!)
But what do you do - when the argument to kill yourself
becomes too strong? ...and a little too logical?
"Hey - I gave it my best shot. I tried. God knows I tried.
But I failed. This pain will never end. C'mon Mark - you
know that. Nothing could be worse than these feelings. You
know you'll be doing the world a favor. Go ahead. Get it
over with. Do it now..."
You hear that stuff in your head and you start believing it.
When you're in that place of total despair - your options
become quite limited.
One option involves taking antidepressants. And under those
circumstances - who could blame you?
In my opinion, this may perhaps be the only real situation
where taking a depression medication truly qualifies as an
appropriate response. Especially if you can't do the
second option.
The second option involves understanding the many different
emotional levels, and "working your way up the ladder".
Climbing up from where you are now, to a different
emotional state that feels better.
All emotions exists on a scale, from the most positively
expansive down to the most negatively constrictive.
Most of the time, we feel stuck on whatever level we're at
- especially when we're on the lower end of the scale.
True depression - along with the thoughts and feelings it
generates - lies at the very bottom of this scale. Nothing
is worse than severe depression. It's the lowest level of
all possible emotional states.
See, when you're truly crushed by depression - you're not
likely to just snap out of it and feel wonderful. At best,
you'll usually fake it for a short time by going into manic
behavior, and then end up right where you started from.
But if you can correctly identify where you're at right now
- emotionally speaking - then you have a starting point
with which to work. And once you have a starting point,
then you can reach and stretch for the best possible
thoughts and feelings available to you.
Loneliness is one step up from the crushing weight of
depression. When you've reached the total despair of
hopelessness and depression - even feeling painfully lonely
is a step in the right direction.
Beyond that lies hate and rage. Being consumed with hate is
two steps up from depression. Much better to feel hate than
to feel depression.
Am I telling you to feel hate?
Yes, if you're currently lonely or depressed, definitely
reach for your hate. Not to stay there, but as one step on
the emotional ladder.
There's a lot of passion in hate.
If you're *not* lonely, depressed, hopeless, empty or
hollow - then don't go for hate!
The goal is to always reach for a better feeling state.
It starts with knowing where you're at right now. It
starts with awareness of what you're thinking and feeling.
If you will take a sheet of paper and write out all your
thoughts -
and then take another sheet and write down all your
feelings -
....you will begin to find your hope. And a tiny bit of your
power.
"Going through" your emotions strengthens you. And one way
to start going through your emotions is to write them down.
Go through your emotions. You could imagine yourself
walking through a minefield or a battlefield, if that's
what it takes. Embrace your emotions by walking into them.
Release your emotions by walking out the other side. That's
one way to embrace and release your emotions.
Anytime you embrace and release your thoughts and feelings
- you'll find yourself a tiny bit stronger.
If you're depressed - write it out. Then FEEL what you've
written. Then you can reach for loneliness.
If you're lonely, do the same with *those* thoughts and
feelings, so you can reach for hate. Not to stay there,
but as one step up the ladder.
(See the full list at
http://www.emotional-times.com/blog.html)
The key is to STOP AVOIDING those horrible feelings.
Instead, go *into* them and out the other side.
That's how you climb the ladder and start feeling better.
About the Author
Mark Ivar Myhre The Emotional Healing Wizard offers unique cutting-edge emotional healing tips techniques and secrets that teach you how to deal with depression stress anxiety and much more.
http://www.join-the-fun.com/
When you were little, how did your parents get you to take your medicine?
Is it just me that was dosed by means of a kind of yellow spoon with a hollow handle? They poured the medicine down the tube, then popped the spoon in me mouth and tilted it so the medicine went right down my throat. There was a plastic bar on the bottom that fitted over my teeth so I couldn't pull away. Twenty years ago or so, but I wanna call Childline...
If it was liquid, my mum used to have a teaspoon of sugar ready and the minute the medicine went in the sugar followed to take away the taste. If it was tablets, they were usually crushed in milk. i have never heard of a spoon like you mention.
Throwing a hollow handle -Sue Grier 2010