 |
 13 PIECE DOG COOKIE CUTTER SET $14.99 Time Remaining: 29d 16h 51m Buy It Now for only: $14.99 |
 Wilton 9 Piece 4th of July Shapes Cookie Cutter Set Flag Circles Stars $3.95 Time Remaining: 15h 29m |
 2 Piece Tooth Toothbrush Cookie Cutter Set NEW Dentist Party $6.75 Time Remaining: 27d 17h 59m Buy It Now for only: $6.75 |
 WILTON 3 PIECE COOKIE CUTTER SETS $4.75 Time Remaining: 26d 5h 42m Buy It Now for only: $4.75 |
 3 Piece Mermaid Seashell Starfish Cookie Cutter Set NEW Birthday Party Gift $4.75 Time Remaining: 27d 18h 6m Buy It Now for only: $4.75 |
 7 PIECE SPORTS COOKIE CUTTER SET $11.99 Time Remaining: 21d 7h 56m Buy It Now for only: $11.99 |
 Wilton 8 Piece Autumn Halloween Cookie Cutter Set Pumpkin Cat Bat House Ghost $3.95 Time Remaining: 15h 30m |
 6 PIECE DINOSAUR COOKIE CUTTER SET $13.99 Time Remaining: 6d 12h 23m Buy It Now for only: $13.99 |
 7 PIECE BUTTERFLY COOKIE CUTTER SET $11.99 Time Remaining: 26d 11h 59m Buy It Now for only: $11.99 |
 R M Wedding 9 Piece Cookie Cutter Set $12.93 Time Remaining: 14d 9h 24m Buy It Now for only: $12.93 |
 Wilton Mickey Mouse Cookie Cutter Set 2 Piece NEW $4.49 Time Remaining: 22d 5h 30m Buy It Now for only: $4.49 |
 31 Piece Cookie Press Cake Decorator Frosting Icing Decorating Set Kit with Tips $9.95 Time Remaining: 24d 9h 42m Buy It Now for only: $9.95 |
 Ateco 7025 10 Piece Metal Animal Cutter Set Cookie Clay $5.99 Time Remaining: 2d 56m Buy It Now for only: $7.99 |
 Wilton Hello Kitty Cookie Cutter Set 2 Piece NEW $4.49 Time Remaining: 5d 7h 47m Buy It Now for only: $4.49 |
 Wilton Sesame Street Metal Cookie Cutter Set 2 Piece NEW $4.49 Time Remaining: 6d 11h 14m Buy It Now for only: $4.49 |
 Wilton SpongeBob SquarePants Metal Cookie Cutter Set 2 Piece NEW $4.49 Time Remaining: 26d 5h 11m Buy It Now for only: $4.49 |
 Wilton 2304 1050 101 Piece Cookie Cutter Set $20.36 Time Remaining: 4d 3h 45m Buy It Now for only: $20.36 |
 Cooks Club Quality Design 20 Piece Cookie Gun Decorator Set $15.00 Time Remaining: 2d 9h 46m Buy It Now for only: $20.00 |
 Peace Sign Cookie Cutter 2 piece set 35 detailed $3.50 Time Remaining: 27d 13h 54m Buy It Now for only: $3.50 |
 RSVP 4 Piece Biscuit Cookie Cutter Set Stainless Steel Varying Sizes NEW $9.95 Time Remaining: 10d 19h 2m Buy It Now for only: $9.95 |
 7 PIECE DOGGIE TREAT COOKIE CUTTER SET $11.99 Time Remaining: 6d 12h 22m Buy It Now for only: $11.99 |
 Sale 31 Piece Manual Cookie Press With Cake Decorating Tips $9.99 Time Remaining: 27d 14h 35m Buy It Now for only: $9.99 |
 7 PIECE BASEBALL COOKIE CUTTER SET $11.99 Time Remaining: 28d 5h 41m Buy It Now for only: $11.99 |
 100 PIECE CAKE AND COOKIE DECORATING SET NEW 100pce $3.08 Time Remaining: 2d 10h 34m |
 Ateco Cake Decorating 3 PIECE RECTANGLE CUTTER SET Cookie Fondant Treat $7.99 Time Remaining: 13d 20h 16m Buy It Now for only: $7.99 |
 Wilton 2304 1050 101 Piece Cookie Cutter Set $21.26 Time Remaining: 16d 4h 47m Buy It Now for only: $21.26 |
 3 Piece Western Cowboy Hat Boot Cookie Cutter Set NEW Birthday Party Gift $4.75 Time Remaining: 27d 18h 16m Buy It Now for only: $4.75 |
 2 Piece Elephant Cookie Cutter Set NEW Birthday Party Gift $3.75 Time Remaining: 27d 17h 58m Buy It Now for only: $3.75 |
 PRINCESS FAIRY TALE PRINCESS COOKIE CUTTER SET 8 PIECE SET $10.99 Time Remaining: 2d 15h 1m |
 Fox Run 6 Piece Flower Cookie Cutter Set $14.54 Time Remaining: 19d 2h 11m Buy It Now for only: $14.54 |
 Fox Run 9 Piece Round Cookie Cutter Set $16.05 Time Remaining: 19d 7h 20m Buy It Now for only: $16.05 |
 SPRING AND FALL 3 PIECE COOKIE CUTTERS NEW $4.75 Time Remaining: 3d 4h 19m Buy It Now for only: $4.75 |
 Fox Run Flower and Butterfly 11 Piece Cookie Cutter Set $13.83 Time Remaining: 3d 5h 14m Buy It Now for only: $13.83 |
 Ateco Cake Decorating 8 PIECE DIAMOND CUTTER SET Cookie Fondant Treats $15.99 Time Remaining: 13d 20h 16m Buy It Now for only: $15.99 |
 HANDHELD COOKIE PRESS 29 PIECE PROFESSIONAL SET IN ORIGINAL BOX MANY USES $5.99 Time Remaining: 2d 15h 2m |
 Ateco Cake Decorating 7 PIECE PLAIN TEARDROP CUTTER SET Cookie Fondant Treat $11.99 Time Remaining: 13d 20h 16m Buy It Now for only: $11.99 |
 EZ Baker Three Piece Cookie Pan Set New Sheets Cookie Baking Bakeware Dining $20.21 Time Remaining: 25d 16h 11m Buy It Now for only: $20.21 |
 R M Wedding 9 Piece Cookie Cutter Set $13.91 Time Remaining: 16d 4h 46m Buy It Now for only: $13.91 |
 Ateco 11 Piece Stainless Steel Round Cookie Cutter Set $19.85 Time Remaining: 20d 11h 47m Buy It Now for only: $19.85 |
 Wilton 18 Piece Cookie Cutter Set Christmas $4.99 Time Remaining: 3d 4h 22m Buy It Now for only: $7.99 |
 2 Piece Tooth Toothbrush Cookie Cutter Set NEW Dentist $3.95 Time Remaining: 29d 10h 32m Buy It Now for only: $3.95 |
 Ateco Cake Decorating 4 PIECE ROUND CUTTER SET Cookie Cakes Treats $8.99 Time Remaining: 12d 16h 16m Buy It Now for only: $8.99 |
 7 PIECE FARM ANIMAL COOKIE CUTTER SET by FOX RUN $10.99 Time Remaining: 6d 12h 32m Buy It Now for only: $10.99 |
 Wilton 50 Piece ABC 123 Cookie Cutter Set $12.99 Time Remaining: 19d 3h 30m Buy It Now for only: $12.99 |
 Wilton thomas Friends Cookie Cutter Set 2 Piece NEW $4.49 Time Remaining: 3d 11h 51m Buy It Now for only: $4.49 |
 BONJOUR COOKIE FACTORY DECORATING KIT 39 PIECE NEW IN BOX COOKIE PRESS $12.50 Time Remaining: 3d 12h 56m Buy It Now for only: $19.50 |
 R M International Little Princess 6 Piece Cookie Cutter Set $12.90 Time Remaining: 19d 3h 16m Buy It Now for only: $12.90 |
 New Calphalon Nonstick 6 Piece Bakeware Set Baking CakePan Cookie Sheet Loaf Pan $39.50 Time Remaining: 29d 1m Buy It Now for only: $39.50 |
 7 PIECE WESTERN COWBOY COOKIE CUTTER SET $12.99 Time Remaining: 22d 11h 38m Buy It Now for only: $12.99 |
 Ateco 8 Piece Diamond Cookie Cutter Set Cake $13.99 Time Remaining: 1d 11h 23m Buy It Now for only: $13.99 |
 R and M Number 9 Piece Cookie Cutter Set $10.87 Time Remaining: 19d 7h 18m Buy It Now for only: $10.87 |
 Gingerbread House Seven Piece Cookie Cutter Bake Set Brand New In Box $3.99 Time Remaining: 3d 16h 10m |
 2 PIECE COW COOKIE JAR CANISTER $8.00 Time Remaining: 29d 15h 10m Buy It Now for only: $8.00 |
 Musical Instrument Cookie Cutter Set 12 piece Metal New $19.88 Time Remaining: 8d 4h 54m Buy It Now for only: $19.88 |
 Fox Run 26 Piece Alphabet Cookie Cutter Set NEW $15.39 Time Remaining: 25d 9h 6m Buy It Now for only: $15.39 |
 Fox Run 6 Piece Flower Cookie Cutter Set NEW $4.95 Time Remaining: 19d 18h 8m Buy It Now for only: $4.95 |
 WILLIAMS SONOMA 4 PIECE SET OF GLASS COOKIE STAMPS $0.99 Time Remaining: 4d 7h 46m |
 BUMBLE BEE SUMMER PICNIC 3 PIECE COOKIE CUTTER SET WILTON METAL $4.49 Time Remaining: 16d 9h 52m Buy It Now for only: $4.49 |
 2 Piece Horse Head Horse Shoe Cookie Cutter Set NEW Party $3.95 Time Remaining: 27d 17h 58m Buy It Now for only: $3.95 |
 NEW Wilton 101 piece COOKIE CUTTERS NIP 1050 $15.99 Time Remaining: 12d 16h 18m Buy It Now for only: $15.99 |
 4 Piece Dog Bone Doghouse Paw Treat Cookie Cutter NEW Puppy Party $4.95 Time Remaining: 27d 18h 17m Buy It Now for only: $4.95 |
 Wilton 2304 1104 101 Piece Cookie Cutter Set $20.89 Time Remaining: 18d 52m Buy It Now for only: $20.89 |
 Cookie press cookie maker with icing decoration attachments 17 piece set EUC $0.99 Time Remaining: 4d 11h 58m |
 Heart Cookie Cutter 5 piece Set in Tin Box Metal NEW $13.88 Time Remaining: 27d 10h 5m Buy It Now for only: $13.88 |
 3 Piece Dog Cat Tiger Paw Pawprint Cookie Cutter Set NEW Kitty Treats $4.75 Time Remaining: 27d 18h 6m Buy It Now for only: $4.75 |
 6 PIECE AMERICA THE BEAUTIFUL COOKIE CUTTER SET $10.99 Time Remaining: 19d 11h 45m Buy It Now for only: $10.99 |
 5 Piece Dog Bone Treat Cookie Cutters Set NEW Puppy $6.95 Time Remaining: 28d 6h 7m Buy It Now for only: $6.95 |
 Wilton 4 piece cookie cutter set $2.50 Time Remaining: 5d 7h 10m |
 Fox Run 6 Piece Flower Cookie Cutter Set With Storage Tin Bakeware Kitchen $7.49 Time Remaining: 10h 51m Buy It Now for only: $7.49 |
 Calphalon 2 Piece Nonstick Cookie Sheet Set Nonstick Bakeware $29.95 Time Remaining: 25d 16h 26m Buy It Now for only: $29.95 |
 Numbers Metal Cookie Cutter 10 piece Set Boxed New $12.88 Time Remaining: 1d 9h 40m Buy It Now for only: $12.88 |
 Ateco Cake Decorating 4 PIECE FLUTED ROUND CUTTER SET Cookie Cake Treats $10.99 Time Remaining: 12d 16h 16m Buy It Now for only: $10.99 |
 Wilton Mini Metal Cookie Cutter Set 12 Piece Various $5.49 Time Remaining: 25d 8h 21m Buy It Now for only: $5.49 |
 Wilton cookie cutter 4 piece Gingerbread Boy $2.50 Time Remaining: 5d 7h 15m |
 FARBERWARE 100 PIECE COOKIE CUTTER SET NIB $19.99 Time Remaining: 14d 7h 34m Buy It Now for only: $19.99 |
 New Wilton Recipe Right 3 Piece Cookie Pan Set Non Stick Bakeware $22.00 Time Remaining: 20d 3h 10m Buy It Now for only: $22.00 |
 R M Musical 7 Piece Cookie Cutter Set $13.65 Time Remaining: 17d 3h 38m Buy It Now for only: $13.65 |
 3 Piece Western Cowgirl Hat Boot Cookie Cutter Set NEW Birthday Party Gift $4.75 Time Remaining: 27d 18h 16m Buy It Now for only: $4.75 |
 NEW in box Birkmann VIP IV Wings 2 piece Cookie Cutter Wing set $13.99 Time Remaining: 5d 11h 35m Buy It Now for only: $15.50 |
 New 30 piece Gourmet Cookie Press Icing Cake Decorator $2.99 Time Remaining: 27d 18h 31m Buy It Now for only: $2.99 |
 13 Piece Dog Lover Cookie Cutter Set NEW Bones Paws $14.95 Time Remaining: 26d 11h 50m Buy It Now for only: $14.95 |
 Fox Run 3 Piece Dog Bone Cookie Cutter Set With Tin Kitchen Bakeware $7.95 Time Remaining: 10h 51m Buy It Now for only: $7.95 |
 Huge Lot of Cookie Cutters Holidays More 39 Pieces $6.99 Time Remaining: 24d 16h 19m Buy It Now for only: $6.99 |
 6 PIECE CAT MOUSE COOKIE CUTTER SET $10.99 Time Remaining: 21d 12h 7m Buy It Now for only: $10.99 |
 Brand new 4 piece Steelers Cookie Cutter Set $7.99 Time Remaining: 5d 16h 15m Buy It Now for only: $13.99 |
 ICE CREAM 3 PIECE COOKIE CUTTER SET WILTON METAL $4.79 Time Remaining: 7d 11h 41m Buy It Now for only: $4.79 |
 DINOSAUR Metal Cookie Cutter 6 Piece SET $7.50 Time Remaining: 22d 20h 46m Buy It Now for only: $7.50 |
 R M Dinosaur 6 Piece Cookie Cutter Set $10.79 Time Remaining: 26d 6h 46m Buy It Now for only: $10.79 |
 2 Piece BALLOONS Cookie Cutter Set NEW Birthday Party $3.75 Time Remaining: 27d 17h 58m Buy It Now for only: $3.75 |
 NEW Set of 6 pieces plastic cookie cutter Heart shaped 6 different sizes Red $1.55 Time Remaining: 20h 9m |
 Mini Animal 9 piece Cookie Cutter Set Metal Cutters New $11.88 Time Remaining: 5d 10h 53m Buy It Now for only: $11.88 |
 Wilton 4 Piece Wedding Cookie Cutter Set $9.65 Time Remaining: 3d 9h 33m Buy It Now for only: $9.65 |
 4 Piece Royal Crown Cookie Cutter Set New Queens Diamond Jubilee $6.95 Time Remaining: 27d 18h 17m Buy It Now for only: $6.95 |
 new EZ Baker steel non stick Three Piece Cookie Pan Set perfect for baking cook $19.99 Time Remaining: 27d 19h 42m Buy It Now for only: $19.99 |
 2 Piece Dragonfly Cookie Cutters NEW Dragonflies Spring Summer Bugs $3.95 Time Remaining: 27d 17h 58m Buy It Now for only: $3.95 |
 NEW EZ Baker Three Piece Cookie Pan Set $4.99 Time Remaining: 3h 29m |
 BABY SHOWER Metal Cookie Cutter 10 Piece SET $10.00 Time Remaining: 22d 20h 45m Buy It Now for only: $10.00 |
 Fox Run Six Piece Linzer Cookie Cutters NEW $9.98 Time Remaining: 18d 8h 38m Buy It Now for only: $9.98 |
 FARBERWARE 97 PIECE COOKIE CUTTERS ALPHABET SHAPES ANIMALS HOLIDAY SPORTS PLUS $13.75 Time Remaining: 1d 6h 29m Buy It Now for only: $13.75 |
 R M Patriotic 6 Piece Cookie Cutter Set New Cutters Cookie Accessories Tools $17.94 Time Remaining: 3d 11h 52m Buy It Now for only: $17.94 |
Piece Cookie
Humor Column: Christmas Cookie Tin 2010
It's December 24th and my brother and his wife sent me a tin of cookies and chocolate for Christmas. That's nice. All the different confections are in separate plastic bags with decorative ties. Classy. (The good thing is now I have a supply of treats to last until at least the Sugar Bowl. We are lucky Ohio State is even IN the Sugar Bowl with all of the championship ring selling and tattoo getting. But that's another story.)
For now I am just going to have some of this white chocolate. Actually, it's not even chocolate because white chocolate doesn't have cocoa in it. What I can report is that it is really, really good. Maybe too sweet. There are about 8 pieces in the little bag. I'm just going to have 3 and close it up for later. It's A Wonderful Life is on. I love this movie. I like how Uncle Billy stumbles in to all those trash cans and makes a huge ruckus and George just stares at him.
Man, I shouldn't have the rest of these pieces but the bag is already open. That's way too much sugar for one person. Especially with my current weight. Wow, those pieces are smaller than they looked originally.
Hey, what are these things? They look like coconut clusters. Nice and heavy. Good cookies always feel heavier and more substantial than the everyday kind. You know, the kind that come in a big bag. The kind that you eat half the bag before you realize it. These are GOOD cookies. These you SAVOR. You don't eat them like potato chips during the football game or a good Saturday afternoon movie. It's like the difference in fourth grade between your ‘school clothes' and your ‘after-school clothes.'
Outside I can see people coming back from midnight mass. It's 1115pm. Yes, many parishes around here celebrate Christmas Midnight Mass at 10pm. Sure, why not? And let's move the Sunday midday mass to 9am and serve a continental breakfast as well. Anything to be modern.
Holy moley, all those coconut clusters are gone. Did I drop a few on the floor? Well, I really didn't eat that many calories at breakfast this morning. Or dinner last night. So if you take the whole week into account, it's probably okay. It never works if you try to severely restrict calories.
The normal TV weather lady is on vacation. All I can say about her is she is a total 10 out of 10. Not a 9.9. A full-on 10. Today they have another lady who looks new to me. All I can say about her is she is a 9.9. Not a 9.8. A full-on 9.9.
Here's an old friend! Chocolate Chip Cookies. Yes! Not those store-bought chocolate chip cookies that taste like cardboard left in the rain. Maybe I'll just have one. Oh, that just melts in your mouth. Perfect amount of chips per cookie. Here's to you (raises glass to TV) Chocolate Chip Cookie Baker Lady or Guy! If you die tomorrow you should know you did a good thing on this Earth by making great cookies. Go forth into heaven and bake more cookies there.
There's some carolers outside-- loud and off-key. I heard about these guys. They go around caroling at 11pm until 4 in the morning. ‘Extreme caroling,' they call it. Unfortunately, the local citizenry is not happy with the caroler's late night version of good cheer. In fact, they are really mad about it. ‘Extreme violence,' we call that in the city.
Ohmigosh. All of the chocolate chip cookies are gone. Maybe some fell in the waste bin by mistake when I pulled the tin off the table next to me to grab a couple.
The sports anchorman is showing a huge fight between two Mississippi State basketball players in the stands at the Hawaii Airlines Diamond Head Classic Tournament. They are really swinging. It turns out they are room-mates. I'm guessing they are taking different flights home.
What? There is only one bag of cookies left in the tin? Do I own a dog that I don't know about that ate all this stuff? Wait, these are not cookies. This is fudge. Really thick and a little gooey. Better save that for tomorrow or next week. Okay, I'll have one just to taste…woah! That's good. They seem like little pieces, though. I'll just have a couple more. They are so small that a few little ones probably equals one normal size one.
The pope is on TV. He's a rock star. People are going crazy. The choir sounds tremendous. I wonder if he keeps cookies in his big hat? It looks like you could even get a glass of milk in there.
Why don't they make packaging like they used to? The plastic bag holding the fudge must have ripped and maybe some fell out because they are all gone. What happened to quality manufacturing?
The cookie tin is empty. Well, it's time to go to bed and wait for Santa. My hands are shaking and I feel light headed but that's probably my allergies.
Merry Christmas.
About the Author
Joe Ditzel is a comedian, speaker, author and really bad golfer. His humor columns and articles on using humor for creativity and problem-solving can be found at http://www.joeditzel.com
What piece of shit turned the cookie monster into the fruit monster?
What happened to the cookie monster we all grew up with? Now he's a GD fruit monster? What crackhead made that decision?
if im not mistaken it was Obama wife!! i think it's retarded as well!
NH Chronicle Piece - Fantastic Fortune Cookies